Quit Being a Rat—at Work and at Home

"The problem with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat," jokes comedienne Lily Tomlin. And the problem with being a rat at work is that it tends to make your home into a rat-hole.

Work is an important element of family life, whether it is paid work outside or inside the home, unpaid work at home, or volunteer work at church or in community or civic organizations.

If our work is viewed as a necessary evil, a burden to be borne, a "daily grind," then it cannot help but have a negative impact on family life. If mother or father and/or children detest their work, view it as something that detracts from family life, and complain about it all the time, then this attitude is going to permeate family life as well. Conversely, if family members are workaholics or consider their work as the really important part of life, then this too can destroy family life.

On the other hand, if work is spiritual, that is, if it is conducted in a balanced manner in line with our deepest convictions and values, then work itself can provide the foundation and even enhance the spirituality of family life.

"Whoa! Hold on there!" you might be saying. "What is this guy talking about? He doesn’t have the slightest idea of our family’s work situation."

True enough, but I run a small business, my wife teaches junior high school, and our three teenagers are just starting to work part time. So we do understand the pressures that work can put on family life. We have also seen, however, the positive effects that work of all kinds—both paid and unpaid—has had on our family’s spirituality.

The secret has been our discovery of the practice of "the spirituality of work." Put simply, the spirituality of work is a disciplined effort to discover the sacredness, the holiness, the deeper meaning of our work, not by trying to "get away from" the hustle and bustle of daily life but rather by trying to do our work in a "spiritual" way.

This is not always easy. In fact, it is often easier to find God in more traditional venues: in church, for example, or in the beauty of nature or in "silence, solitude and simplicity," as one spiritual formula puts it.

But let’s face it, work life (and family life) are usually filled with "noise, crowds and complexity." Certainly God is present there as well, even if it might be more difficult to be aware of the divine presence.

Bottom line? The spirituality of work and family spirituality are two branches of the same tree. They both flow from the same roots and they both nourish the same plants.

If you don’t want to be a rat at home, don’t be a rat at work.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Give thanks and congratulations at work on a systematic and regular basis—to others and to yourself. This sounds simple, and it is, but no other single practice can transform the workplace as quickly as this one.

Deal with others at work in the way you want them to deal with you. How honest do you want others to be at work? How loyal? How generous? They will be about as honest, loyal and generous as you are willing to be.

Decide what is enough at work…and then stick to it. What is enough money, enough time, enough effort, enough success (or failure)? Deciding these questions is one thing, but sticking to your decisions is another.

There are many other practices of the spirituality of work, some of which I have described in my book Spirituality @ Work: Ten Ways to Balance Your Life On-the-Job (Loyola Press, 2001). But I’d like to end this little "e-essay" by talking about two effects that practicing the spirituality of work can have on family life.

First, no matter what your personal work situation might be, practicing the spirituality of work can make you a better, happier, more effective worker. Don’t believe me? Try it! Whether you hate your work or love it, if you practice the spirituality of work your workplace will be transformed—at least a little.

Second, if you practice the spirituality of work it will overflow into your home life. Better, happier, holier workers make better, happier, holier family members. For example, if you practice giving thanks and congratulations at work, treat others at work the way you’d like to be treated, and decide what is enough at work and stick to it, then you will most likely do the same once you get home.

So, quit being a rat. Instead, try to become aware of the presence of God in your workplace and allow that awareness to change how you do your work and how you act when you get home.

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