Some Do's and Don'ts

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of work with youth in every parish. Although youth 'faith and integrity' protection is at the heart of these guidelines, this must not be seen as overshadowing the importance of promoting the welfare of youth in our Church communities. To deny youth the opportunity to enter into the Christian experience in a safe and loving church environment is also a form of spiritual abuse.

1. Do treat all young people with respect.
2. Do watch your speech, tone of voice and body language.
3. Do learn to control and discipline children without physical punishment. This will set a far better model for youth themselves to follow.
4. Do ask parents' permission if you need to see a young person on his or her own, make sure another adult is present nearby and that the child knows this.
5. Where possible there should be a gender balance amongst leaders and helpers.
6. Don't use or play rough physical or sexually provocative games.
7. Don't be sexually suggestive about or to a young person even in fun.
8. Don't touch inappropriately or intrusively.
9. Don't scapegoat, ridicule or reject a young person.
10. Don't show favoritism to any one youngster.
11. Don't give lifts to young people on their own. If this is unavoidable ask the youngster to sit in the back.
12. Don't invite a young person to your home unless there is someone else around and that the parents know where their child is. Preferably invite a group.
13. Don't permit abusive peer activities e.g. initiation ceremonies, ridiculing, bullying.
14. Don't allow unknown adults access to the youth.

Responding to what a young person tells you

Some General Points

1. Remember that the young person may want the problem to stop but still love the person responsible for the problem.
2. The young person may think that you are able to stop the problem without anything else happening.
3. If a young person asks to tell you something in confidence ALWAYS tell them that that will depend on the circumstances. You may have to tell someone else if they are being harmed.
4. If it is possible, try to have another adult present whilst the young person speaks, but do not prevent the child from speaking if this is not a possibility or if it would
5. unduly inhibit the youngster.

Some Useful Tips

1. Give your full attention - the young person needs to know they are being listened to attentively.
2. Allow the youngster to talk, but don't press for information
3. Tell the young person that they are not to blame for anything that has happened
4. Reassure the youngster that they were right to tell
5. If required, let the young person know that you may have to tell other people so that the problem can be solved.
6. Try to explain what will happen next in a way that the young person can understand.
7. Reassure the young person that you will support them in what may happen later.
8. As soon as you can, write down as carefully as possible what the young person has said, how they said it and how they appeared emotionally. Write down what you said too. Keep these records securely.

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